Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The New Arbiter Of Ethical Behavior: Donald Trump

According to an article in the New York Times:

He characterized her choices as "very, very bad." But in the end Donald J. Trump magnanimously announced today that he would give a second chance to Miss USA, Tara Conner, the beauty pageant winner who has been the subject of numerous published reports of alcohol and drug use and wild partying.

Miss Conner, who just turned 21, fought back tears as she appeared at a news conference with Mr. Trump, a co-owner of the Miss Universe Organization. Wearing a light blue shirt under a dark pinstripe suit, Ms. Conner acknowledged drinking alcohol while under the legal age, but said that it would be "pushing" it to say that she had a drinking problem.

Such a hilariously juicy topic, is it not? Donald Trump, the man who changes wives as often as other men change their underwear telling a young woman that she is acting irresponsibly because she is copying the way the Big Guys play. But then Donald Trump has money and power and he is a white guy and he really pretty much owns Tara Conner. So he can tell what her ethics should be but she can't tell what his ethics should be. None of us can tell Trump anything.

Beauty pageants. I'm not a fan of them. In that I'm almost like the genuine 1960s and 1970s feminists. Not because I want to stop all fun or because I don't get laid enough or because of having hairy armpits (goddesses don't have armpits, silly) or because of being envious of other women's beauty. But because this is the only field, truly, in which the traditional patriarchy wants women to compete: against other women, for male attention, and only in lengths of legs, shapes of butts and size of boobs. A cattle auction.

Of course beauty pageants are other things, too. But most of those other things, such as scholarships and interviews about why the candidate wants to save all the children in the world and then erect world peace were added because of feminist complaints. They were not what the pageants were about, initially, and they are not the reason why some people still watch them. They are watched to look at the gams and the tits and to make ridiculing comments about the choices of clothing and the silly things the candidates say.

The ethics clauses and the requirement that the participants can't be married are also there for a reason: To make the candidates Fresh Goods, unused and still in the package, and also to cover up the semi-pornographic aspect of the pageants.

It's weird writing this post, because I don't think about beauty pageants very much. They take place in some alternate reality. But this Trump thing is just plain silly.