Friday, April 11, 2008

In defense of marriage (by Suzie)

      This fall, Floridians will vote on the Marriage Protection Amendment to the state constitution.
      When I was married, I didn’t realize other people’s rights could jeopardize my marriage. To me, the greatest threat came from my husband displaying his collection of baseball cards in our bedroom.*
      I’m not a Bible-fearing woman. In fact, I fear people who fear the Bible. They’re the ones pushing this amendment to make sure that same-sex marriage becomes even more illegal that it already is.
     If they want to protect marriage, why stop there? Why not outlaw adultery, for example? Unlike same-sex marriage, the Bible has plenty to say against adultery. Even one of the commandments forbids it.
     Let's urge politicians to take a stand on the issue - before they’re caught. Are they pro-adultery or anti-adultery? If my state can issue a “Choose Life” license plate, why not one that says, "Faithful," with the proceeds going to programs on fidelity. If we can give poor people incentives to marry, why can't we give people a tax credit if they can avoid cheating for a year?
     I understand temptation. But I went to a reorientation camp where I learned to change my desires. Once I learn a gorgeous hunk of man flesh is married, I no longer feel any interest in him whatsoever. I have been cured of this sin.
      Perhaps you think I'm being absurd. But I think we should ask politicians and pastors why they want to outlaw some sins and not others.
*My good-natured ex-husband approved this joke.