Saturday, December 11, 2004

What's Your Comfort Blanket?

We all need one of those. What do you do when the world has decided to use you as its toilet tissue? I think that good hints on this would be appreciated by all my erudite and charming readers.

What I do is this: First I go and lie down with the dogs, as tightly between them as possible. Then I cry and curse and sniff into their fur until they growl impatiently and get up. Then I go to the snakes and tell them everything, but everything, in great detail. They won't listen but I pretend that they do.

Then I go and kick another hole in the garage door. This is most satisfying.

If none of this helps masses of chocolate might, and as a last resort I drown all my sorrows in nectar. Of course, before any of this I bore all my friends with the injustices I have been dealt and I also clean the house with the hateful energy coursing through my veins. But usually the door kicking does the trick.

So tell me what you do when going on seems impossible but staying put is not allowed.