Saturday, January 30, 2010

Victim Blaming. May Trigger.

This is a story about two deaths, most likely a murder and a suicide:

Investigators on Monday released the names of a couple found shot to death in a Manhattan Beach home, saying they believe the man killed his girlfriend and committed suicide because she was breaking up with him.

The couple was identified as Michael Nolin, a 24-year-old retired Marine who ran a pornographic Web site out of a Manhattan Beach office; and Danielle Hagbery, a 22-year-old California State University, Long Beach, student who worked at Cheesecake Factory in Huntington Beach.

Sheriff's Lt. Dan Rosenberg said the coroner's officials will make the formal determination on whether the crime was a murder-suicide, but noted, "We believe that's going to be what occurred.

"It appears she was at a point where she no longer wanted to be with him," Rosenberg said. "They were having difficulties."

They were having difficulties, eh? Well, she sure had some, even though the story appears to twist itself into some sort of a "both were guilty" knot.

But wait! Something worse lurks at the very bottom of this piece:

Rosenberg said Hagbery's death should serve as a warning to other young women that they need to look out for themselves - such as not going to the boyfriend's home - when a relationship goes sour.

"This is one more tragic end of a dating relationship where these young women should be aware of it," Rosenberg said. "Ladies need to be vigilant when things go sideways with boyfriends."

If you read the whole thing you will find that there's no way of knowing whether Hagbery went to the man's home voluntarily or not. But that pales in comparison to the victim blaming and the odd assumption that a murdering boyfriend is to be expected when "things go sideways." Just a tragic end of a dating relationship.

Why doesn't Rosenberg add a warning to young men not to go and shoot their girlfriends?