From The Diaries of Thad Tough, A Man About The Town.

Dear diarrhea!

Today I joined a health club. Not that my perfect body needs any more exercise than it gets between the black silk sheets of my crowded round bed. But others may benefit from seeing How It Is Done, how a mere machine cannot stop the awesome manliness of my very eyebrows, how all those wannabes can be shown to be warped caricatures of the True Testosterone. It is a favor I'm granting them, to show up at their rinky-dinky little club, to show them a Real Man, I mused while picking my teeth with the thighbone of a liberal effete wimp.

But here's the problem: I arrived at the club, undressed and changed into my G-string. They told me I needed a cup! A cup! Have they not heard of buckets?


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The first installment of Thad's diaries is here.