What Is Out, What Is In

You know those articles where you are told why those 900-dollar shoes with the 20 inch cork heels you bought last year are totally OUT now, because the IN shoes this year are made of lucite with little razor blades as buckles? And how eating the mustache hairs of Brazilian goats is the IN thing in restaurant dining now, whereas nobody, but nobody, eats the eyeballs of Ukrainian mollusks anymore? Likewise, I've started seeing political articles with the same idea, the idea of the author deciding what is in and what is out this year. No need to have a reason for it. Just a declaration from high above and that's it.

So I decided to do one of those articles, the INS and OUTS of politics. I'm a goddess, after all. Here it goes:

OUT:
Joe Lieberman. Any mention of him, all pictures of him. OUT, dratted spot, OUT.

IN:
The total absence of Joe Lieberman.

OUT:
The 2008 presidential campaign, beginning in 2006 and lasting forever.

IN:
Real articles about real political problems of today. (Yes, I know I'm a naif.)

OUT:
Any descriptions of the buffness of Mitt Romney and other homoerotic rants about male politicians. (Do you hear me, Tweety? Bush will never leave Laura for you.)

IN:
Articles which explore the question why Chris Matthews (aka Tweety) fears Hillary Clinton so very much and why he thinks women are those slightly ridiculous things that someone forgot to provide with a silence-button.

You can probably suggest better ins and outs. Of course, the serious OUT should be all pre-emptive warmongering for domestic political purposes.