A "Dear Habeas Corpus" Letter

Dear Habeas,

It is hard for me to write this letter, but the time has arrived. As you know, dear, everything changed on 9/11 2001. What we had once was wonderful, the dance of you and me and what we made together: democracy. I loved you and needed you and you were all I could ask for.

But... Things have changed. It's not you who has changed, it's me. Don't feel hurt, dear habeas. It's just that now I worry about terrorists all the time, I worry about going to the mall or about taking the train. I even worry about going to bed in case a terrorist is hiding under it, ready to cut my ankles off with a rusty knife.

I need something...stronger than you, my dear habeas. I need tribality and violence. Yes, that's the ticket. You see, we have this new enemy, and it is so barbarian! We can't beat it unless we show that we are barbarians, too. You are many things, my sweetheart, but you are not a barbarian. You would look weak and effeminate to the terrorists, and then they would crawl under my bed. And I can't bear that idea.

So farewell, my love. I am sure that one day you will find another lover who will truly value you.

Kisses and hugs,
America