No day can be completely wasted when it begins with a Google search for the definition of "schlonged," right? Imagine that in some other context than in the presidential debates of the still-most powerful nation on earth (cue: tiny whips).
Then imagine it in its actual context: The deep utterances of Donald Trump, a man who wants to be the most powerful person on this planet:
Republican frontrunner Donald Trump used a campaign stop in Michigan on Monday to make astonishingly sexist attacks against Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton.But wait! It gets even more hilarious. Andrea Tantaros, one of the many identical-looking* beautiful women in the stable of conservative Fox News, asked this deep, deep question about how Hillary Clinton should respond to Trump or how she might respond to Trump:
At one point, Trump told the Grand Rapids crowd that Clinton got “schlonged” by President Obama during their 2008 Democratic primary race.
“Even her race to Obama. She was going to beat Obama. I don’t know who’d be worse. I don’t know. How does it get worse? She was favored to win and she got schlonged. She lost. She lost,” Trump said.
“Schlong” is a well-known reference to a man’s genitals. There are no alternative definitions for the word, according to Merriam-Webster.
Trump also used his speech to attack Clinton for using the bathroom.
Discussing her brief disappearance during Saturday’s Democratic debate while she was using the lavatory, Trump told the crowd, “Where did Hillary go? They had to start the debate without her. Phase two. Why? I know where she went. It’s disgusting. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s too disgusting. Don’t say it, it’s disgusting. We want to be very, very straight up.”
HARRIS FAULKNER (HOST): Donald Trump, talking about -- and I don't know if you guys watched it. Saturday night, the debate, there was a little bathroom break with Hillary Clinton. Watch.
ANDREA TANTAROS (HOST): He shouldn't have said it. He -- I think that he doesn't need to say those type of things, because he knows that historically Hillary likes to play the victim, and he knows that now her campaign's talking about this. But this campaign season's different. People don't care about political correctness. They don't. And, frankly, I think what he's doing may be smart because it baits Hillary to come out and look like a wimp. A whiny, weak female. And her campaign has to make up its mind. Is she a strong leader who can handle criticism about going to the potty or not? Or is she a victim? Can she handle ISIS or can't she? And you know what, Trump knows that and he's baiting her and it's masterful. I have to say. She's going to lose this one.
TANTAROS: She looks very, very weak and victim-like. And in this environment, that is a losing strategy.
Emphasis is mine, and I cannot stop laughing. Can she handle criticism about going to the potty or not? When, as they say, "everybody poops"?
Can our Donald handle that criticism? And why on earth would he wish to criticize someone for doing what all human beings (living ones) have to do? I'd be very worried about someone being a pod-person or an alien in disguise if they never had to go to the lavatory! Or about the resulting constipation and how that might make someone press the nuclear button.
But of course this is about Hillary Clinton's genitals (she has no schlong!). Trump is an open sexist, often on the level of a nasty teenager, and he is disgusted by the idea of a woman urinating or defecating. Disgusted! I wonder if he has support staff for those functions himself? Now I feel disgusted.**
Ah, the whiny weak female who has to go potty. How low have the conservatives fallen, with their rebel boy, Donald? How inane can American political debate turn? Well, here's your answer, my sweet friends.
* Because the women are selected based on the same criteria (looks and long legs) and then made up to look the same. Or so I suspect. Fox News where all the women are beautiful and all the men look like they came out of a crumpled paper bag. Now that's how you do sexism!
** There are arguments that disgusting things provoke strong reactions in more conservative test subjects in studies. I haven't read in that field so I cannot tell if that is true, but in any case the disgust doesn't appear to stretch to dead bodies, what with the war supporters among the conservatives.