Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sniff. I Can't Grow A Beard.

What can I do when I have failed and need to retreat to my nest to lick my wounds and still feel all feminine? Get a tit job? Guys can grow a beard and that hides their fractured masculinity after a public loss of face:

In addition to MacCallum and Giordano, Democratic strategist Marissa Shorenstein offered her own theory to explain why Richardson and former Vice President Al Gore grew beards: "I will say that after Al Gore lost his election, he also grew a beard. And I think it has to do with being sort of macho and wanting to feel like a man after you've lost something."

I should do something about that warped humor of mine. What I really wanted to point out is the idea that failing in something makes men lose their masculinity, but that failing in something doesn't hurt women at all, because women are expected to take failing as a matter of course experience or to act all mature about it.

Then there is the other meaning of the word "beard", referring to the wife of a man who is secretly gay. I think secretly lesbian women can't marry men as beards. Or am I wrong?