Sunday, March 02, 2008

Hunting Season Starts. Post I.

Have you gotten your pencils sharpened and your keyboards on the ready? Have you stocked proper ammunition? It's the hunting season for chicks, and if you wait too long someone will have said the really misogynistic shit before you got your chance. So hurry up!

The Washington Post is a step ahead of you. Women are either dim or fickle. Probably tomorrow they'll have a thoughtful column which shows that we could be both dim and fickle!

Then there is the ever-funny Mr. Maher. I've known for a long time how very much he loves women, preferably barbecued, but this is certainly proof for those of you who still thought that he was a nice guy:

Bill Maher: I'm not trying to be sexist here, but I'm just saying that women try a lot of different tacks when they're in arguments.

Harry Shearer: Do you remember the website in the 90s , where it was all her different hairstyles?

Maher: Well, hairstyles.

Harry Shearer: Yes, but now there's going to be a website with all her different personalities.

Maher: Well, we made a montage, actually. Just to show you that, just — I'm not being sexist — I'm just saying that men, when we argue, we're kind of a one-trick pony, we try our one thing, and then we . . . sulk when we don't get our way. [Plays a clip of Hillary, misty-eyed at a campaign event]

Maher: But look at Hillary Clinton. Because the first thing a woman does, of course, is cry. [Affecting a dramatic, teary voice] "I just want to be happy. Why can't you just love me?"

Maher: And then they go to sweet talking.

[Plays a clip of Hillary complimenting Obama at a recent debate]

Maher: "You're the best thing that ever happened to me! And you look so handsome in that tie!"

[Plays a clip of Hillary saying "shame on you" about Obama's "Harry and Louise" brochure]

Maher: And then they throw an anger fit totally unrelated to anything. "Stay home and watch the game. See if I care."

[Plays a clip of Hillary mocking Obama's soaring rhetoric]

Maher: And when it doesn't work, they bring out the sarcasm. "Oh, I'm just a woman, I couldn't possibly understand the issues like you could." Don't write me, please ladies, don't write me.

And Christopher Hitchens agrees. Of course he would. He thinks that women can't be funny but are good for giving blowjobs and stuff.

Still not ready to join in the fun? Too bad. The first bitches have already been bagged.