Monday, September 18, 2006

Que es mas macho, pineapple o knife?

That is from Laurie Anderson:

Standby. You're on the air. Buenos noches Senores y Senoras. Bienvenidos. La primera pregunta es: Que es mas macho, pineapple o knife? Well, let's see. My guess is that a pineapple is more macho than a knife. Si! Correcto! Pineapple es mas macho que knife. La segunda pregunta es: Que es mas macho, lightbulb o schoolbus? Uh, lightbulb? No! Lo siento, Schoolbus es mas macho que lightbulb. Gracias. And we'll be back in un momento. Well I had a dream and in it I went to a little town And all the girls in town were named Betty. And they were singing: Doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo doo. Ah desire! It's cold as ice And then it's hot as fire. Ah desire! First it's red And then it's blue. And everytime I see an iceberg It reminds me of you. Doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo doo. Que es mas macho iceberg or volcano? Get the blanket from the bedroom We can go walking once again. Down in the bayou Where our sweet love first began. I'm thinking back to when I was a child - Way back to when I was a tot. When I was
an embryo - A tiny speck. Just a dot. When I was a Hershey bar - In my father's back pocket.

I love Laurie Anderson. But the question she poses about masculinity is one that is taken very seriously in the wingnut circles. Here are some quotes from an interview with Harvey Mansfield, the author of a book fetchingly titled Manliness:

Direct from Harvard of all places, Harvey Mansfield presents us with a full-throated defense of manliness in his new book, Manliness (no subtitle!). Mansfield recently took questions from a female fan (NRO Editor Kathryn Lopez).

Kathryn Jean Lopez: Before you mention any man, the name you first mention in Manliness is Margaret Thatcher? How insulting! Why isn't it?

Harvey Mansfield: I am particularly trying to persuade women and wanted to address the first objection they might have. I also wanted to show that this is not to be a mere celebration of manliness.

Lopez: What's your one sentence definition of manliness?

Mansfield: Manliness is confidence and command in a situation of risk.

Lopez: How deeply has feminism wounded manliness? I'd hate to see manliness fall, wimp-like, victim to little old aging bra burners.

Mansfield: Feminism abolished the idea of femininity but only wounded manliness.

It claimed and still claims that women can be as manly as men, but on condition that manliness is redefined in the direction of womanly sensitivity. Manly men did not fight back because they are not in the habit of fighting women, and because we all believe in democratic equality.

Que es mas macho, Harvey Mansfield o eggplant Parmesan?

I'm so tired of this, you know. My head is heavy with the fatigue I feel right now, but if I happened to be in a situation of riskiness I'd still act with confidence and command. It is the only alternative when no manly man happens to lounge about in my study, ready to pounce upon any risk that might find its way in. Or maybe I should ask Mr. Mansfield to live in my closet, to be applied like a bugspray whenever needed.

Can you guess which politician Mr. Mansfield finds especially manly? Yup. George Bush.