Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Intervention Or News From The Divine Front

We caught Nemesis! If you remember she's been walking the earth, howling like the wind, moaning in a vacant way. Her revenge talents have been draining for centuries and she has been invisible for quite a while now. Understandable, really, as who prays to the goddess of revenge (and prayers are needed to puff us up), but Nemesis is strongly needed right now. So Ares and Aphrodite and a couple of demi-gods and such got together and devised a Cunning Trap and caught Nemesis. They are holding her in a walkup in the Bronx, keeping her alive with nectar and some taped prayers, but the situation is getting unbearable.

Hence the intervention. The plan is to bring Nemesis here (in a suitcase) and to revive her. We divines are all going to get together (with some nectar and carousing on the side) to stay with her and to pray to her and to feed her with mice. She will get color in her cheeks and light in her eyes! After she first gets some cheeks and eyes, of course. In short, we are going to bring Nemesis to life.

She is desperately needed in the present political situation. No-one is as skilled in giving people their true deserts as she is, no-one is as cruelly rational and objective and logical and kind in her cruelty as Nemesis. The Democratic party needs her to teach them how it's done, the people of the United States, of Afghanistan and of Iraq need her. Anyone at all sane needs her, and the sad thing is that she's totally insane right now. But we are going to fix that with this intervention. I got the idea from a psychology book, though I added a few goddessy twists to it, and the snakes plan to give her a few beauty baths with venom and a nice scale massage.

It's going to work, I'm sure. But it means that I won't be posting regularly for the next week or so and that you should also pray to Nemesis. Pretend to like her. It shouldn't be too hard in this culture.

Our democracy may well depend on Nemesis. And she in a suitcase!