Saturday, June 11, 2005

Tourism in Wingnuttia

We really should start a travel agency for those intrepid souls who wish to follow my pathbreaking footsteps and visit Wingnuttia in the real dimensions. For example, we need to put together all the immunization requirements, a list of suitable clothing (nobody told me about the need for high heels with jeans) and a list of unsuitable clothing (my "Got Democracy?" t-shirt didn't provoke cries of admiration). Also of reading materials that are vital for survival purposes. And a primer on suitable answers for all those questions one gets here, most of them impossible to answer honestly (Don't you just hate that Howard Dean?).

I don't know if the cuisine in Wingnuttia differs from that elsewhere except in the KoolAid department, but the particular town I'm visiting has the oddest cuisine in some ways. Everything has mayonnaise in it, even the breakfast cereal, and I'm coming out in divine spots. Sometimes called zits among humans. This may explain the need for such strong measures as very thick orange foundation on so many of the female faces here? Or am I just going really vicious here? Probably the latter. I miss Snakepit Inc. and it's solitude!

But think of the new material I will have at the end of this trip!