Thursday, June 03, 2004

Conspiracy Theories

They are a lot of fun and only get cumbersome when other people believe in them. This is a good time for some new, juicy conspiracy theories, though; not the silly old ones about the U.N. helicopters. I have made one myself! It is as follows:

There are five fat men in a secret cave
They are naked. They are bald. They live in a wave of
purified air.
They read the Playboy and the Joy of Cooking.
They have grown obese and sated from just looking.

They can feel us. They can see us.
They know our petty schemes.
They have planned us. They have manned us.
They made our secret dreams.
And they caused it to be thus:
Nothing that we do is quite as it seems.

If you don't like that one, or even it's wonderfully bad poetic form, you might be interested in something much more serious and worrisome:

A dentist who claims he met three of the Sept. 11 hijackers in Shreveport one year before the attacks has mysteriously fallen ill and is on life support.

Dr. David Graham was driving back to Shreveport from Houston on Saturday night when he became sick. A friend said Graham began suffering organ failure and medical tests show possible poisoning. He is hospitalized in Houston.

Graham is trying to publish a book that claims meetings with the hijackers and another Middle Eastern man who is a federal fugitive here.

In fact, the Bush administration gives a lot of material for conspiracy theorists. A large number of people who used to be in this administration have died in mysterious circumstances. Coincidence? Perhaps. It might be possible to clarify that by doing some statistical analyses of causes of death and any clustering of rare causes in this way. Or one could just speculate, of course.

Thanks to Atrios and kei&yuri for the links.