Friday, May 28, 2004

Friday Night Dog Blogging

Or blog dogging. Hello, this is Henrietta the Hound, the smarter of the two dogs at the Snakepit Inc.. All the others are asleep right now, having gorged on strawberries (the goddess) and kibble (Hank the Rethug Labrador). (The snakes are always asleep.) I'm in charge. Finally!

The first thing I wanted to do is to activate picture blogging so that you can see how handsome and soulful I really am, but I may not have enough time; I hear them moving in the other room. But I am handsome and soulful and should be the president of the United States.

For one thing, I would never have let Chalabi's nephew pretend to be the new prime minister of Iraq. Everybody knows the dangers of in-breeding, except the idiotarians in Washington, D.C.. Just look at Hank to see what I mean! Ok, he may not be a real nephew, but he sure sounds like a brother-in-arms to Chalabi.

For another, I would never have stooped to torturing. A good butt bite is all that's needed for anybody who wants to show domination. It works for me, and it would have worked for George Bush if he possessed any real canines.

Here's my proposal: Let me in charge of the world for one year, and then judge if things are better. During that time, humans are limited to only the necessary roles like opening cans and driving cars to dogparks, but in return I promise a democracy in Iraq (I know a lot of good dogs there), an American revival and unlimited Parmesan cheese to all dogs. And a world at peace. What do you say? What can you lose by this arrangement anyway?

Yours, in solidarity
Henrietta the Hound