This Post Has Nothing to Do With Feminism (by res ipsa)

It has to do with gardening, specifically, the pests that will screw up said gardening, this pest in particular. How do you get rid of these creatures? Please don't say, "Kill them", because (a) that's illegal in the relevant jurisdiction, and (b) even if it wasn't illegal, I couldn't bring myself to do it. They're eating the plants and hanging out, big as life, on the deck, sunning themselves like teenagers without a care for skin cancer. They are huge and they are legion. We have tried this spray stuff that smells like garlic (they come back), ammonia (they come back), yelling at them (they come back), trapping them (they didn't go for it). They are literally and figuratively burrowed in. Yesterday at about 5 PM, I looked out the back window and there was one with his/her paws propped up on the bottom step of the deck, just eye-spying the geraniums. He was plump and healthy and pleased as punch with himself. Have you ever had them, and if so, how did you get rid of them? I am at my wits' end.

Update: According to The GC, the damn things have now migrated to the front of the house. We're surrounded!