Saturday, March 11, 2006

Saturday Goddess Gossip

I'm having guests this weekend. Aphrodite is dropping by, to tell me all about her newest boytoy who apparently is like the Everready Bunny. At least he is still alive and it has been, what?, four days. He is happy as a clam, of course, even if he is shortening his life span consideraby by playing with a goddess. But we goddesses believe in free will, even for toyboys.

So I have been cleaning. Shoveling out doghair and snake scales and oiling all the banisters because 'Dite likes to slide down banisters and it's awkward if she suddenly gets stuck and plummets down head first. She still wears those flimsy draperies, you know.

Artful Asp is planning new death traps for 'Dite, as part of her school project in the snake school. I did tell her that goddesses can't be killed but Artful thinks that the death traps need to be run in first with someone who isn't hurt if they fail to kill the person completely. I'm so proud of her. A scale off the old skin. Where do you think she got her ethics from?

In other Olympus news, Nemesis is getting better. You may not know that she went completely bonkers when that Old Testament God got so popular, seeing it as a threat to her, and so she started walking the earth, moaning desolately all the time. You may have heard her and attributed her moaning to the wind. Nemesis is a little whinier if you want to check next time.

Anyway, we are trying to resuscitate her so that she'd start doing that revenge bidness again. On our behalf, "our" being the good people on the left and center of the American political spectrum. She used to be really good at it, creating earthquakes and locust rains and stuff. The wingnuts would do well with those, and Nemesis is the goddess for the job. Right now we are playing her taped prayers from humans. These will solidify her a little more and then we can pour some nectar in her for further recovery. I'll let you know how it is going.