Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Marshmallows



David Brooks's columns are like marshmallows. They look all pink and puffy and chewable but if you do chew them you experience nothing but a puff of rather unpleasant smelling air. You may notice that I don't like marshmallows, and I don't like Brooks's columns, either, partly because I'd be better at his job which is pretending to be a sociologist studying the good America (wingnuts) and the evil latte-sipping America (moonbats). At least I know how to read statistics and how to make studies seem to support a particular point of view. Brooks just makes up things out of pure air. Or foul-smelling air, mostly.

Recently Brooks went on air and said this about immigration to the United States:

BROOKS: This is important. This is important -- it's not racist -- when the immigrants -- Listen, I'm for pretty open immigration. But when the immigrants come, they come with a culture of criminality. It's out of control, and I can see people wanting to put the system in control.

Culture of criminality! Do you think that Brooks has ever looked up United States in those pesky international statistics about crime rates and murders and rapes? It is quite difficult to enter this country with a higher culture of criminality than the one awaiting here, actually, though it can be done.

If you found the above paragraph insulting to Americans everywhere consider how Brooks's comment comes across to us immigrants. We are coming in with the intention to ravage and to pillage?

Here is my whole criminal life in this country:

I once got a parking fine, because the meter was broken. I put in fifty cents for a ten minute parking which required a dime, but the meter didn't budge. I left the car there anyway because it was my birthday and I was picking up the cake and people were waiting. I got fined and paid it. Even though the real criminal was the parking meter. But Brooks would probably blame my antecedents for the whole incident. The culture of criminality creeping in here, in the ominous shape of immigrant goddesses.