Thursday, January 13, 2005

Always the Bridesmaid....

Not that goddesses have bridesmaids or much marriage, either. But this is a suitable title for a post about my Koufax Award nominations for 2004. These awards are for lefty blogs and named in honor of Sandy Koufax who was a Southpaw baseball player.

I have been nominated in lots of categories, which is wonderful (thank you), but which has also totally stifled my writing style. Life is perverse in that way. Now I have to worry about visitors who might be coming here just to see if I'm any good. I'm very good, of course, but thinking about it is unwholesome.

So what does this have to do with bridesmaids? That's how I feel when I see my name, over and over again, in awe-inspiring company, far too elevated for me. But it also has something to do with the dresses bridesmaids must buy, dresses which will make you look green in the face, which you will never wear again and which will cost you the next month's food budget. And the discomfort of feeling that you are now not only you but also something else, a "bridesmaid", with all the duties going with that role. Like writing excitingly and finding juicy bits of news, even if you have a migraine attack or need to clean the basement.

It also has something to do with the fact that I won't win anything in any of those categories, of course, but not as much as I first feared. Blogging is far too fun for any of this to have more than a short-run impact either way.